Kim Blanton

Make the Move Easier on Your Teenagers

Moving from one house to another is seldom easy and fun for adults and it can be especially troubling for the teenagers. To make the move easier on your teenagers, parents need to deal with their children’s concerns and needs thoughtfully, much of that distress and discomfort can be avoided.

Remember that it may be the only home they have ever really known. This is their house, the place they feel safe and comfortable and thoroughly at home. A house is much more than a roof and walls to a teenager. It is the center of his or her world. A move threatens to take that sphere away and leave something totally strange in its place. The familiar friends, schools, shops and theaters, the streets, trees and parks - all will no longer exist for them.

Keep in mind that the new house will not be beautiful the night after the moving van leaves, or for months after. The furniture won’t fit the rooms. The curtains won’t be up, and every spot on the floor will be covered with half-unpacked cartons. Your teenager won’t know anyone at school and, if you move during the summer, they may have little opportunity to meet anyone their age. You may be faced with many more problems in your new community that they will, but remember that you can handle them more easily than they can.

Some relationships will be extremely difficult to break and these will demand careful, thoughtful, personalized planning by both parents. How, for instance, do you move a 17-year-old 1,000 miles from her steady boyfriend? Expect that your teenager may be even more distressed after the move than they were before it.

Remember that the newness will wear off. New friends will become old friends and best friends. This new house may become the family homestead your grandchildren will visit every holiday season. There will be discomforts, but in the long run, everything will work out fine.

To make the move easier on your teenagers, they will need your help, and you should plan to give them the support they need.

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